Learning lots and letting go...
Hi Family,
This is my second YWAM post and I hope you all enjoy it
Throughout this 2 weeks we have had relationship week, which was last week with Matt and Cora Dawson and Holy Spirit week with Paul Richard's. These two weeks have been very amazing but challenging at the same time.
Relationships week I found to start off very hard and painful, as I was hearing both Matt and Cora's stories. Which were amazing I just had a lot of memories creep in, along with some lies saying that I wasn't going to be in a good relationship like that. Which was not true at all!! At first I felt like a bit of a failure and I had a lot of emotional stuff to deal with, as a month ago I was engaged and it didn't turn out the way that I hoped.
I found the middle and the end of the week very healing for me. I started to feel a lot more complete in myself. I learned some really good tips on healthy relationships. Such as not rushing things (which is one of my weaknesses) and constantly seeking truth. I have really learned to not jump up and down every time someone gives me attention of the opposite gender, and really to embrace this season of singleness and seek out time with the father. I have been going on walks with God lately and just learning to lean on his love and be content in that. I have found that to a level before but I feel like this is growing even more. I have also laid down my right to be in a relationship. And in fact laid down my rights to the Lord. This has been a massive thing in my life. I lived most of my life thinking God, or my parents or people owed me something.
This has been a massive road block in the way of my relationship with the father. I found that when things would go wrong, I would blame God or others instead of being thankful for what I had and working through things with God. I kinda had the attitude something bad happened to be that I would play the victim and think that someone owed me something, or if life got hard people or God owed me something. This created a lot or resentment in my heart. I also found I hd that attitude with my finances a little too. I have learned to trust in the Lord and to lay down my rights in that. and not to make people feel obligated to give. Its more of a faith walk, I trust in the Lord with my finances even through I am not in the best position, having still owing $1600 for my DTS fees, and still not having my outreach fees yet. But I am laying that down and having the faith that I will get given all that I need. But no one owes me that. It was hard for me seeing a lot of students who had already had all their fees paid off and to have a good attitude and not to get jealous over them, but to instead be happy for them. It's the same with how on Facebook I would constantly scroll down and see pictures of my friends who are engaged and in relationships, every time a streak or envy and disappointment temps me to give in to it. Having laid down my rights I am no longer bitter about things, but I am thankful for all that I have and I am trusting God to give me the desires of my heart.
We also learned about conflict resolution, and boundaries in relationships. This really helped me a lot. Matt in Cora had such a respectful way of conflict resolution. They called it an iMessage, This worked by instead of blaming and being so quick to say what this person did wrong, we should tell them how we are feeling instead of pushing the blame on the person, this is a more respectful and honouring way to resolve conflict, it also validates our feelings. When we respond this way, often we get a much better response than expected too!! I loved how they stated "It's my job to expose me, it's your job to expose you." Also if someone does falsely accuse us it is our responsibility for my response. I can choose to not take it on and respond in love. Or I can react negatively, it's up to me.
We also had a big session on forgiveness. I realised I still held bitterness towards people that I thought that I forgave. Instead of fully forgiving these people, sometimes I would try to accept their behaviour and try to forget, and tell myself that I had forgiven them, rather than fully forgiving them through my heart. I learned to accept that their behaviour might not have been right and to establish boundaries with the person if they are not willing to change, and forgiving them from my heart, but not having to let them do the same thing over and over again to me. The afternoon we had a session on forgiveness, there were a lot of tears, but I expressed a lot of my hurts to God and surrendered them. This helped me to process things and finally move on. I really loved Matt and Cora's hearts and their honestly, they really revealed to me a lot of wisdom and truth, which helped me to process and work through a lot of things in my life.
This week we have had Paul Richard's speak on the Holy Spirit, he is so full of passion and energy which was awesome! He talked a lot about going back to the cross where it all started, and he reminded us of the resurrection and its power, as well as the grace go God. He talked a lot about not striving and knowing that God sees us for where we will be and not for where we are now and all our mistakes and wrongdoings. He really pointed us back to Jesus a lot. It was sweet to be reminded that the holy spirit is in all of us and we as people are temples of the holy spirit. The holy spirit makes the word of God come alive and it empowers us to do all that we do for him. He talked a lot about the importance of humility and really laying things down before Jesus which was awesome. He also mentioned a lot of common wisdom such as, being careful about what you say, and about how you talk about others along with respecting and honouring leadership. I am really excited to dig deeper into God and to receive new revelation into what he is doing.
This is my second YWAM post and I hope you all enjoy it
Throughout this 2 weeks we have had relationship week, which was last week with Matt and Cora Dawson and Holy Spirit week with Paul Richard's. These two weeks have been very amazing but challenging at the same time.
Relationships week I found to start off very hard and painful, as I was hearing both Matt and Cora's stories. Which were amazing I just had a lot of memories creep in, along with some lies saying that I wasn't going to be in a good relationship like that. Which was not true at all!! At first I felt like a bit of a failure and I had a lot of emotional stuff to deal with, as a month ago I was engaged and it didn't turn out the way that I hoped.
I found the middle and the end of the week very healing for me. I started to feel a lot more complete in myself. I learned some really good tips on healthy relationships. Such as not rushing things (which is one of my weaknesses) and constantly seeking truth. I have really learned to not jump up and down every time someone gives me attention of the opposite gender, and really to embrace this season of singleness and seek out time with the father. I have been going on walks with God lately and just learning to lean on his love and be content in that. I have found that to a level before but I feel like this is growing even more. I have also laid down my right to be in a relationship. And in fact laid down my rights to the Lord. This has been a massive thing in my life. I lived most of my life thinking God, or my parents or people owed me something.
This has been a massive road block in the way of my relationship with the father. I found that when things would go wrong, I would blame God or others instead of being thankful for what I had and working through things with God. I kinda had the attitude something bad happened to be that I would play the victim and think that someone owed me something, or if life got hard people or God owed me something. This created a lot or resentment in my heart. I also found I hd that attitude with my finances a little too. I have learned to trust in the Lord and to lay down my rights in that. and not to make people feel obligated to give. Its more of a faith walk, I trust in the Lord with my finances even through I am not in the best position, having still owing $1600 for my DTS fees, and still not having my outreach fees yet. But I am laying that down and having the faith that I will get given all that I need. But no one owes me that. It was hard for me seeing a lot of students who had already had all their fees paid off and to have a good attitude and not to get jealous over them, but to instead be happy for them. It's the same with how on Facebook I would constantly scroll down and see pictures of my friends who are engaged and in relationships, every time a streak or envy and disappointment temps me to give in to it. Having laid down my rights I am no longer bitter about things, but I am thankful for all that I have and I am trusting God to give me the desires of my heart.
We also learned about conflict resolution, and boundaries in relationships. This really helped me a lot. Matt in Cora had such a respectful way of conflict resolution. They called it an iMessage, This worked by instead of blaming and being so quick to say what this person did wrong, we should tell them how we are feeling instead of pushing the blame on the person, this is a more respectful and honouring way to resolve conflict, it also validates our feelings. When we respond this way, often we get a much better response than expected too!! I loved how they stated "It's my job to expose me, it's your job to expose you." Also if someone does falsely accuse us it is our responsibility for my response. I can choose to not take it on and respond in love. Or I can react negatively, it's up to me.
We also had a big session on forgiveness. I realised I still held bitterness towards people that I thought that I forgave. Instead of fully forgiving these people, sometimes I would try to accept their behaviour and try to forget, and tell myself that I had forgiven them, rather than fully forgiving them through my heart. I learned to accept that their behaviour might not have been right and to establish boundaries with the person if they are not willing to change, and forgiving them from my heart, but not having to let them do the same thing over and over again to me. The afternoon we had a session on forgiveness, there were a lot of tears, but I expressed a lot of my hurts to God and surrendered them. This helped me to process things and finally move on. I really loved Matt and Cora's hearts and their honestly, they really revealed to me a lot of wisdom and truth, which helped me to process and work through a lot of things in my life.
This week we have had Paul Richard's speak on the Holy Spirit, he is so full of passion and energy which was awesome! He talked a lot about going back to the cross where it all started, and he reminded us of the resurrection and its power, as well as the grace go God. He talked a lot about not striving and knowing that God sees us for where we will be and not for where we are now and all our mistakes and wrongdoings. He really pointed us back to Jesus a lot. It was sweet to be reminded that the holy spirit is in all of us and we as people are temples of the holy spirit. The holy spirit makes the word of God come alive and it empowers us to do all that we do for him. He talked a lot about the importance of humility and really laying things down before Jesus which was awesome. He also mentioned a lot of common wisdom such as, being careful about what you say, and about how you talk about others along with respecting and honouring leadership. I am really excited to dig deeper into God and to receive new revelation into what he is doing.
Love love love my friend keep strong you are a blessing xx
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