Boy Talk Part 2
This is my Boy Talk part 2. I really went deeper into some real life situations that a lot of Christian girls face, and tried my best to answer them through personal experiences and some of my own research. Feel free to comment below if you have any questions. Hope you enjoy it!!!
I really want to encourage you girls not to settle for anything less than what you deserve. Your worth
is in God who is trustworthy and good. He sees you as his beautiful daughter. No matter what any guy says or thinks nothing can change that. Your value is in him who is above all things. Nothing anyone says can ever compare to the love he has for you.
I encourage you to let go of what's hurting you and hold onto God and he will come though and bring what he has promised. I see girls putting their worth into guys who don't treat them well and not having the strength to walk away. They think their value lies in them and what they have to say about them and in the way they are treated. This is such a lie and it makes me so sad. And like many girls I've been in that place and I know exactly how it feels.
If a guys playing you and calling you he's not worth it and he's not interested. If a guy is interested he will call you and pursue you. As Lauren Demoss would say "If someone wont lift a finger to call you, see you and spent time with you It's time for you to lift 5 fingers and wave goodbye." If he's playing games and stringing you along he's not interested, and you deserve to wait for a guy who will invest his time in you and who will love you at your very best and your worst. Also if I guy is putting you down in any way at by all means I'm telling you to run the other direction before it gets too late. In a matter of time it will only get worse no matter how many times he says he's sorry if he keeps treating you badly that's an incentive in itself to get out. The right guy will not leave you feeling confused or hurt like this.
You deserve way better. Also don't confuse love with attachment is about fear and dependency and has more to do with love of self rather than love of another. Love without attachment is the purest form of love because it isn't about what others can give you because your empty it's about what you can give to other because your already full.
I've bees studying Greek a little bit too and the there are 4 different words for the word love. The first type of love is called Eros which is represented by the idea of sexual love and passion. So thats pretty much lust which is that flamey, fiery passionate love that takes hold of you. Which in a sense is dangerous. Then there's Philla which is more of a deeper kind of friendship for example the way you love your closest friends. Then there's Ludos which was the Greeks idea of playful love generally referring to the early stages of a relationship such as flirting and teasing. Which at the start are fine but there's no real solid ground to build on. Then there's Agape which is the most radical form of selfless love this is the love that you give out to other people. I believe this love God really implants in our heart which helps us do good and love the people around us. The next kind of love is Pragma which refers to the long lasting love of marriage or relationship this is the mutual long standing love that lasts thoughout time. The last is Philautia which . So regarding this he kind of love we should desire is Agape. and we should try not to get too caught into the butterflies and initial feelings of it and make our decisions based on truth, not on our emotions which can sometimes mislead us.
If you do like someone and are thinking of getting into a relationship with him. Firstly give your feelings to God and pray about it. Ask for wisdom and insight about the situation. Then I encourage you to define why you like him is it real love? Or is it just lust? Also look at his life and his values because what your attracted to does say a lot about what you value. You need to be okay with this person representing yourself. Also look at how he treats you, and for red flags, especially early on because if you see them then. It's a sign and they will keep getting worse. If he is not respecting you or being downright mean run the other direction. You deserve so way better. Also look at his relationship work God. A guy who doesn't know God will have completely different views on marriage, sex and a lot of other things in life and big decisions that you would make as a couple. You need to ask yourself if your okay with that? Both of you might find it hard in the relationship and being on completely different pages with things. As a Christian you need unity and support, the person you chose to be in a relationship with needs to be able to connect with you on a deeper level. You will be closer with them than pretty much any person and It would be very difficult to not be able to connect with them on that level. On another note I have seen a FEW Christians in good relationships with non Christians. I am not at all saying it is wrong. I am just saying that it would be very hard to be with someone who doesn't share those same views.
And for all you single girls I encourage you to wait on God and to be content in him and fill himself up with his love and don't ever go into a relationship hungry it doesn't work.
Enjoy being single and focus on your relationship in God and find fulfillment in him. Focus on your passions and keep pushing into God and the right guy will come in the right time but we need to be content in God first to be able to pursue that healthy relationship you need to find that fulfillment in Christ first and not look for it from anyone else. Because he is the only source that you can get true satisfaction from.
And Finally
Don't settle for less God is best. He has a plan and purpose for every one of us which is far better than any of us could ever ask of imagine. Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, Stop worrying and know that its all in his loving hands and he has someone better than you could ever ask or imagine planned for you to be with and his timing is always perfect Psalm 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.
I really want to encourage you girls not to settle for anything less than what you deserve. Your worth
is in God who is trustworthy and good. He sees you as his beautiful daughter. No matter what any guy says or thinks nothing can change that. Your value is in him who is above all things. Nothing anyone says can ever compare to the love he has for you.
I encourage you to let go of what's hurting you and hold onto God and he will come though and bring what he has promised. I see girls putting their worth into guys who don't treat them well and not having the strength to walk away. They think their value lies in them and what they have to say about them and in the way they are treated. This is such a lie and it makes me so sad. And like many girls I've been in that place and I know exactly how it feels.
If a guys playing you and calling you he's not worth it and he's not interested. If a guy is interested he will call you and pursue you. As Lauren Demoss would say "If someone wont lift a finger to call you, see you and spent time with you It's time for you to lift 5 fingers and wave goodbye." If he's playing games and stringing you along he's not interested, and you deserve to wait for a guy who will invest his time in you and who will love you at your very best and your worst. Also if I guy is putting you down in any way at by all means I'm telling you to run the other direction before it gets too late. In a matter of time it will only get worse no matter how many times he says he's sorry if he keeps treating you badly that's an incentive in itself to get out. The right guy will not leave you feeling confused or hurt like this.
You deserve way better. Also don't confuse love with attachment is about fear and dependency and has more to do with love of self rather than love of another. Love without attachment is the purest form of love because it isn't about what others can give you because your empty it's about what you can give to other because your already full.
I've bees studying Greek a little bit too and the there are 4 different words for the word love. The first type of love is called Eros which is represented by the idea of sexual love and passion. So thats pretty much lust which is that flamey, fiery passionate love that takes hold of you. Which in a sense is dangerous. Then there's Philla which is more of a deeper kind of friendship for example the way you love your closest friends. Then there's Ludos which was the Greeks idea of playful love generally referring to the early stages of a relationship such as flirting and teasing. Which at the start are fine but there's no real solid ground to build on. Then there's Agape which is the most radical form of selfless love this is the love that you give out to other people. I believe this love God really implants in our heart which helps us do good and love the people around us. The next kind of love is Pragma which refers to the long lasting love of marriage or relationship this is the mutual long standing love that lasts thoughout time. The last is Philautia which . So regarding this he kind of love we should desire is Agape. and we should try not to get too caught into the butterflies and initial feelings of it and make our decisions based on truth, not on our emotions which can sometimes mislead us.
If you do like someone and are thinking of getting into a relationship with him. Firstly give your feelings to God and pray about it. Ask for wisdom and insight about the situation. Then I encourage you to define why you like him is it real love? Or is it just lust? Also look at his life and his values because what your attracted to does say a lot about what you value. You need to be okay with this person representing yourself. Also look at how he treats you, and for red flags, especially early on because if you see them then. It's a sign and they will keep getting worse. If he is not respecting you or being downright mean run the other direction. You deserve so way better. Also look at his relationship work God. A guy who doesn't know God will have completely different views on marriage, sex and a lot of other things in life and big decisions that you would make as a couple. You need to ask yourself if your okay with that? Both of you might find it hard in the relationship and being on completely different pages with things. As a Christian you need unity and support, the person you chose to be in a relationship with needs to be able to connect with you on a deeper level. You will be closer with them than pretty much any person and It would be very difficult to not be able to connect with them on that level. On another note I have seen a FEW Christians in good relationships with non Christians. I am not at all saying it is wrong. I am just saying that it would be very hard to be with someone who doesn't share those same views.
And for all you single girls I encourage you to wait on God and to be content in him and fill himself up with his love and don't ever go into a relationship hungry it doesn't work.
Enjoy being single and focus on your relationship in God and find fulfillment in him. Focus on your passions and keep pushing into God and the right guy will come in the right time but we need to be content in God first to be able to pursue that healthy relationship you need to find that fulfillment in Christ first and not look for it from anyone else. Because he is the only source that you can get true satisfaction from.
And Finally
Don't settle for less God is best. He has a plan and purpose for every one of us which is far better than any of us could ever ask of imagine. Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, Stop worrying and know that its all in his loving hands and he has someone better than you could ever ask or imagine planned for you to be with and his timing is always perfect Psalm 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.
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