Boy talk part 3

Firstly I want to start of with saying, I know the feeling of wanting to be loved and wanting to have someone caring for you and loving you. This is a Godly desire but I want you to know that a man isn't going to fill up any missing space in your heart. Only God can fill that space, as my pastor likes to put it I feel like we all have a God shaped vacuum in our hearts. We try to fill that with countless other things to replace that. Including relationships. But in the end the only way we can be complete and whole is to be full in Christ and to recognise your worth and value in him. When we do this we are free from the lies that the world tries to tell us all around.

I love the verse Romans 12:12 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. We are not of this world, we are Gods children, meaning that we do not have to act as if we are women of this world to attract Godly men. It also eases the pressure on us with the whole self image thing.

Although I know a lot of other christians in fact who suffer more from self image issues than some of my non-christian friends. Now why is this. We know our worth in christ but... We feel the pressure to be beautiful exteriorly and go to extreme measures to try to get noticed by our future husbands that it literally can drive us insane!! 

I also should point out before I say this is that I do believe firmly in looking respectable and presentable and a little makeup and a cute outfit will never hurt anyone. But the right guy will love you for you. Not for who you are trying to be, or any unattainable image you are trying to pursue.

A real man cares more about the size of your heart than the size of your waist!! It is far more important to develop your character and focus on developing into the women that God has called you to be. Be.  Don't get caught up in the lies of this world. If we waste our time worrying about how we look and our self image we will find it harder to do that!! 

So why don't we focus on our inner beauty and character in christ. Good looks fade over time, but our character only develops as we grow in christ. The people who are there for your  looks won't be there forever. But the people who are there for your heart will stay. 

Also don't settle, don't just find the first guy who shows interest and run to him. This will only lead to heartbreak. Wait on God he has the one for you, if you do not feel ready, or do not feel at peace about it. Chances are its not the right time. So run, run to God and let him fill your heart up with his love, trust in his plans and timing. Yes you might have to wait but I promise you will save yourself from a lot of heartache. The longer you wait the better your relationship will be. 

I have spent years chasing the wrong guys, stemmed out of my own insecurity. As girls I think we really need to guard our hearts. Whenever a guy who we have feelings for shows us he cares (even the slightest bit) we tent to run to them. I encourage you girls to protect your hearts and run to your girlfriends for advice, on things that are weighing heavy in your heart. Yes I do talk to guys about emotional things but I think its important to know when to draw the line. As feelings can creep in and make things complicated.

Also another thing I have learned is when to stop chasing someone. I believe that when he stops putting in the effort and when he starts acting like he's not in it anymore. Thats when you've got to get out. You don't want to have to make him, chase you or like you more. If you are trying to impress him, He isn't the right guy cut your losses and move on!! He isn't worth your time if he isn't pursing you. The right guy will pursue you and he will keep on doing it! He won't change his mind on you. 

So stick to it, its not an easy journey sometimes but it sure worth it. I feel the longer you wait and the older you get, and the more painful the experience and the more heartbreaks. The wiser you get, and the better the relationship will be in the future!! Psalm 37:4 take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.